I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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