I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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