You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
