dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize