Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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