Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
