she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
