How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
