at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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