is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
two words...techno handjob
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
