i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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