if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
