There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
