Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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