Please, let me fuck your mom
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
