I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
