hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
