the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
