dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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