the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
