Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
