Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
