Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
