what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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