my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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