I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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