How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
