i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
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DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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