I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
