it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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