I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
vagina is talking i cant
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
