Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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