i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
