Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
