she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
