I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
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Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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