shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
