i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
