Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
