Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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