I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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