Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
