Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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