I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have fence marks all over my body
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize