I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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