Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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