what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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