she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Even my vagina gasped.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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