I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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