Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
