I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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