I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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