The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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