How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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