my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
